


cranberries

by facetiousmotives



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Aobajousai, Depression, Feelings, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, M/M, Napping, References to Depression, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28448277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/facetiousmotives/pseuds/facetiousmotives
Summary: Seijoh returns to Aoba Johsai after losing to Karasuno. Oikawa goes off the grid, not responding to calls or texts. He doesn't come to school. After receiving suggestions to do so, Iwaizumi visits Oikawa to check up on the younger boy. Oikawa acts normal, but is putting up an act. Iwaizumi releases some concern and pent-up emotions toward Oikawa's state, and Oikawa comforts him at this. They nap, and it's Oikawa's turn to air out some thoughts.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 41





	cranberries

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't really include this in the tags, but, small spoilers of season two Aoba Johsai game if you haven't seen that already. Also, warning for readers with mental health issues or depression. Some things in the story may trigger you. Sorry this is such a bad attempt at writing hurt/comfort, but I needed to materialize some ideas. I'm so nervous to post this and I dunno why.

Iwaizumi’s eyes fluttered open when someone tapped on his desk lightly. “The period is over, slacker,” Hanamaki teased. Iwaizumi groggily looked up at him, unfolding his arms and stretching in his seat. Hanamaki frowned when Iwaizumi glanced back up at him, beginning to gather his things. “Still nothing?”

“Yep,” The two left the classroom and began down the hallway, “No response.” They continued down the hallway to meet Matsukawa, the bustling sound of people filling their empty conversation. Matsukawa looked at them with a hopeful expression once they met, which was immediately put to rest by the two boys shaking their head. They continued to the cafeteria, where they sat down at their usual spot.

“Are you ready for that test next period, Makki?” Mattsun questioned, not turning towards the boy or looking away from his food. All of them sat bent over their lunches.

“I guess. I don’t think I’ll fail or anything.”

“Well, that’s good.”

After a few minutes, Iwaizumi looked up from his meal, resting his hand on the table. “It’s different.” Makki and Mattsun didn’t have to investigate any further to understand the meaning of these words. The conversation died here, the noise from the surrounding people consuming their words. Luckily, lunch ended quickly; and as Mattsun and Makki returned to classes, Iwaizumi returned to waiting. Waiting for a response, waiting for the day to end. The remaining periods would be the slowest of the day. 

Iwaizumi didn’t sleep through the periods as he had wished he’d been able to. Instead, all he could do was stay awake. He laid on his desk, head wrapped in his arms. No work was to be done today, all the thoughts in his head were preoccupied. A majority of the classmates had never seen Iwaizumi showcase this much emotion, if this could even be called an emotion. Nobody dared to disturb him today, because the whole school knew full-well why he was in that state. 

At long last, the final bell rang, marking the end of the day as it had hundreds of times before. Iwaizumi rose, silently and neatly gathering his stuff to go meet Mattsun and Makki again. They’d always walked home together on Wednesdays, and that wasn’t going to change. He found them outside by a lunch table, where they normally met. 

“Yo,” Mattsun waved at the shorter boy, Makki offering a simple nod. When Iwaizumi reached them, they began walking home, almost synchronized. As expected, the walk was as quiet as the day. Until Hanamaki broke it.

“Iwaizumi.”

Iwaizumi didn’t turn to look at him. “Hm?”

“You know what you have to do, why haven’t you done it yet?” Makki’s face was still neutral, but this shocked both Matsukawa and Iwaizumi. Matsukawa looked between Makki and Iwaizumi, observing the conversation well.

“I’ll…” Iwaizumi looked to the ground, “... I’ll do it tonight.” The group continued to walk down the road, knowing to only hold light conversation so as to not affect Iwaizumi’s train of thought. The topics of volleyball and academics were thrown about the air until they all reached the intersection where they parted. Normally, Hanamaki and Matsukawa part the left way, because they both live in that direction, as Iwaizumi normally does too, when he’s there. The group parted, Makki and Mattsun giving a brief “Good luck” and waving goodbye. 

Iwaizumi could now truly be alone with his thoughts, his stomach churning at the thought of confronting him. He thought it over carefully, trying to pick the right time in the afternoon and the right things to say. He’d decided he’d go before going home, which required walking about ten minutes away from his own house. As for dialogue, he’d just wing it. Iwaizumi didn’t know the right words beforehand if he didn’t know the situation in the first place. Starting in the direction of his destination, he didn’t need to think much of the roads to take to get there. No, he’d had the directions engraved into the soles of his feet.

Iwaizumi took a slow pace to arrive here, making it take him about fifteen minutes instead. Anxiety pitted into his stomach, making it difficult to properly pay attention to his movements on the way. With a stiff arm, he knocked on the door once outside of the house.

“Iwaizumi?” Oikawa opened the door swiftly, slightly surprised by the smaller boy’s appearance at his house. Iwaizumi always asked before coming over. “Uh, come in?”  
Iwaizumi stalked inside, taking off his shoes and leaving his bag on the floor by them. Once upright, he scanned the familiar house and then the far more familiar face. The light-brown haired boy was dressed in a dark-gray hoodie and black shorts, an unusual combination for him. Oikawa didn’t address Iwaizumi with any kind of irregularity, and acted surprisingly normal. He turned after closing the door, returning to the dining table where a bag of cranberries lay. Iwaizumi followed Oikawa, leaning on the wall of the dining room. 

“Cranberries?” 

“Yeah,” Oikawa answered in a monotone voice.

“I thought you disliked those?” 

“They’re okay.” 

It felt as if the stale conversation was going to be the death of him. Iwaizumi didn’t know how to bring up Oikawa’s absence for the past few days, especially since he was acting as usual.

“Uh, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi tried his hardest not to stutter, rubbing his neck, “If you ever, well, need to talk about anything, I’m here.”

Oikawa looked up from the table hesitantly, “I know that Iwa-chan, but where’s this coming from?”

“Well, you haven’t been at school the past few days. You also haven’t been responding to any messages or calls, and it’s unlike you to just disappear.” Iwaizumi noticed Oikawa’s eyes soften slightly at these words.

“Thanks, but,” Oikawa rose from the table and leaned his back against a wall across from Iwaizumi, “I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie to me, okay? You may be able to fool the others well enough, but I know that the Karasuno game-”

Oikawa interrupted, “What about the Karasuno game?”

“It took a toll on you.” Iwaizumi waited several seconds, and continued when there was no response from Oikawa. “Listen, I… I really do care about you. It hurts when you don’t talk to me about anything. Life’s difficult enough as it is, and I don’t need your dumb ass isolating yourself because of stupid reasons.” At this point, silent tears fell from Iwaizumi’s eyes. He looked away from the floor, glancing at Oikawa. His face remained indifferent.

“Iwaizumi…” Oikawa started, then stopped. He couldn’t find the words, just as Iwaizumi hadn’t been able to. He walked across the room quietly, wrapping his arms around Iwaizumi once he reached him. “I’m sorry I made you worry and get upset. I didn’t mean to. I’m fine, okay?” Oikawa rubbed Iwaizumi’s back silently, resting his chin on Iwaizumi’s shoulders as his sobs grew slightly louder. He could feel his shirt growing damp when Iwaizumi’s head burrowed into his chest.

“You’re so stupid. You scared me. Never pull that shit again. You can’t just disappear without anything, okay? Especially since it was after the Karasuno game. I care about you, you moron.” A muffled, but audible Iwaizumi mumbled.

“I know. It’s okay” It was all Oikawa could do to rub small circles on his back and offer quiet words of assurance. Iwaizumi had never been this vulnerable with him, and he’d never had a friend be this open either. It was out of routine. After a few minutes of this, Oikawa pulled his face away slightly but sustained their hug to not discomfort Iwaizumi. His heart ached slightly to see the smaller boy’s puffy face against his shoulder. 

“Iwa-chan,” He began quietly, “Are you tired?”

Iwaizumi lifted his face off of Oikawa, looking up at him slightly, his eyes half closed. “Yeah.”

Oikawa gave a kind smile, “You can nap here if you’d like. My parents won’t be coming home tonight, so it’ll be quieter than at yours.”

“Okay.” With this, Oikawa led Iwaizumi into his room, then sat half-up on the left side of his queen sized bed. Iwaizumi noticed that his room was quite a mess, which was unusual for Oikawa. Iwaizumi didn’t ask for permission to lay on top of Oikawa, laying his head on his chest. Although this was extremely unusual for the both of them, they weren’t stiff about providing affection for each other, just this once. Oikawa wrapped his arms around him, as did Iwaizumi in return. They lay comfortable for a few minutes, in a comfortable silence. Rays of a warm and soft light filtered in from his shuttered window. The room’s average temperature mixed well with Oikawa’s body heat to warm up Iwaizumi quickly, making him drowsy fast.

“Hey, Iwa?”

He smiled smally, “Hm, yeah?”

“It might be weird to say this but… thank you.” Oikawa’s voice sounded sad.

Iwaizumi lifted his head slightly to look at the taller boy. “Why’re you thanking me? I didn’t do anything.”

“You did more than you realize.”

“Yeah?” Iwaizumi got less sleepy, now intrigued by the conversation.

“Yeah. Okay, sleep now.” 

“Mm, okay.” Oikawa closed his eyes, and Iwaizumi rested his head on Oikawa’s chest once again. Enveloped in warmth, they both grew sleepy quickly. Just as they were on the verge of falling asleep, a few words escaped Oikawa’s lips.

“Thank you for needing me, Hajime.” Oikawa’s words were warm. Iwaizumi shifted a bit to see his face, being careful to not snap him out of his warm state. Oikawa’s eyes were shut, his mouth resting. Iwaizumi decided to not ask him about it, he’d let him rest. The two boys fell asleep swiftly after, letting their minds rest for the time being.

It was well into the evening when Iwaizumi awoke, as the world outside the blinds was darker now. He still lay warm; however, he had shifted onto his stomach and the bed was below him.. Oikawa no longer laid beneath him. His arms were wrapped in front of him, creating a pillow for his head. Lifting his head, Iwaizumi had to blink quite a few times to get a small amount of understanding of the room. It took him a few glances to realize Oikawa was still in the room. 

Oikawa sat with his back against the bed frame and his knees to his chest. His arms wrapped tightly around his knees, but his head was still upright. His expression could hardly be seen. 

“Tooru?” the smaller boy whispered. There was no response, but Iwaizumi knew Oikawa was not asleep. He could act like it all we wanted, but even a fool knew no man could sleep with his head held up. “Hey, Tooru?” 

“Hajime.” 

Iwaizumi’s eyes adjusted enough to see Oikawa’s face. His mouth lay rested, but his eyes were blank. They looked like the eyes of a dead man. A few silent seconds passed.

“I’m sorry.” His eyes stayed fixated on nothing, but a pitiful and soft smile made its way onto his face.

Iwaizumi slightly turned his head, “What’re you sorry for?” Oikawa stayed silent, his mind clearly somewhere else. Iwaizumi sat up onto his legs, about three feet from the taller boy. “Talk to me.” 

Oikawa made an almost inaudible sound, almost like a low whine, and tucked his face into his arms. “Hajime, I’m sorry. I don’t have words right now. I don’t know how to not hurt you. The emptiness won’t go away, and I can’t do anything for you until it does.”

“Emptiness?”

“That’s the only word I have for it.”

“For what?”

Oikawa lifted his head, raising his gaze. “The feeling that eats you up and won’t leave.” Iwaizumi flinched slightly at the words he spoke, in his uncharacteristically monotone voice. While his voice was flat, his words carried weight. “I just, I, can’t make you happy, Hajime.” Oikawa turned his head a bit and stared blankly in Iwaizumi’s direction. Another soft smile cracked onto his face. Iwaizumi’s heart ached, his eyes growing soft again.

“You,” tears welled up in his eyes, “can be yourself with me. Even if ‘yourself’ is a side I haven’t seen, I won’t dislike any side of you.”

“How do you know that?” Oikawa’s painful smile stayed on his face, “It’s helpless, Hajime. Things will never change.”

“Don’t say that.”

Oikawa flatly chuckled a bit, before saying, “I shouldn’t be here.” Silent tears fell from Iwaizumi’s eyes. 

“I need you here.”

“I can’t take care of myself. As much as I want to, I can’t take care of you.” Oikawa’s eyes returned to their spot on the wall, his expression blank again. His eyes were cloudy but empty at the same time.

Iwaizumi wiped his eyes, crawling to the area in front of the younger boy. He sat cross-legged, studying Oikawa’s eyes. “Let me take care of you.”

Oikawa lifted his eyes up and met them with Iwaizumi’s. “Why?”

“I want to understand you.”

“Please don’t waste your time, there’s no benefit for you in that.” His distracted eyes found another blank space in the room, away from the smaller boy, to occupy them.

“There is a benefit. It’s seeing the person you care about happy.” 

Tooru’s eyes lit up for a moment, then went back to their dim state. His face was tired. “Okay.” It looked like there was he wanted to say, but kept it to himself. Iwaizumi noticed, deciding not to pressure any more things out of the already exhausted boy.

“Good.” Iwaizumi glanced at the small clock on the nightstand. “It’s about seven in the evening, are you hungry?” He looked back at Oikawa. His eyelids were far heavier than before.

“Not really. Are you?” His voice was still flat, but tiredness leaked into it.

“No.”

“...Can I just lay with you for a bit?” 

“Sure.” Iwaizumi leaned forward a bit, hugging Oikawa and pulling him back with him, Oikawa exhaling softly. 

“What time do you have to be home?” Oikawa’s head rested on Iwaizumi’s shoulder this time. The smaller boy pulled a stray blanket around the two, wrapping his arms around Oikawa again after.

“I’ll stay with you if that’s okay. I won’t go to school tomorrow, either. And I’ll make up an excuse for my parents, don’t worry. I'll only leave when you want me to.”

“Okay.” Oikawa closed his eyes, “Thank you, Hajime.” The silence wasn’t uncomfortable. They had an understanding that they needed each other to stay afloat, if that was even possible.

“Thank you, Tooru.”

**Author's Note:**

> Agh, it's safe to say I dislike the AO3 formatting, it makes it appear so informal. Apologies if the feelings Oikawa portrayed were not clearly articulated. Thanks for reading this if you even did. Hope you liked it. B)


End file.
